Letters from Crystal Meth Users

• Feb
  01

  Innocent Child Lost on Meth

  Hi, I am 15 yrs. old. I'm from Sun Valley California. I started smoking weed when I was 12 years old. I liked to be high because kids my age weren't doing it so it made me feel older and somewhat cooler. I was hanging out with people much older than me in there 20's and late teens by the age of 13. I still continued to smoke weed and my mom knew. Right after I turned 14, I moved in with my aunt and my cousins.

  My oldest cousin is addicted to speed. I have drug use in my family from both sides my father also was a major addict. My time spent at my aunt's house was short, but during that time we were smoking weed every day. I love to be high and get fucked up. It gave me the feeling that couldn't make me happier. I remember one day, my cousin came home and was like hey my friend at work smokes sum crystal meth u want to try it?

  My sister said yes, but wouldn't let me try and my cousin wouldn't let her younger sister try it either. So she and I just watched them. A few days later we went on a trip to Santa Barbara. My sister let my cousin smoked crystal meth, but said not to let her sister to know I wasn't going to say anything though. When we got back I asked my sister if I could try some so she let me. I fell asleep nothing happened. The next day, I was like fuck man nothing happened to me. I want to do it again. So I did. I stayed awake the whole night. I went to school and someone told me that I looked different. I was like - shut up. That was like 10 months ago.

  I've been smoking crystal meth every day. My dad found out because he noticed it. We said we would stop; but all of us continued to smoke including my sister's boyfriend. We would rent rooms and smoke the entire night from room to room. We came home all spun and just smoked and smoked. Sometimes I have to force myself to eat so my dad doesn't notice. I like getting high when I'm high; all I want is more and more. I can't stop it feels so good.

  Sometimes I lose concentration on the easiest things. I get confused in school and I can't think. I feel like an idiot. When I was clean I was smart. Now I'm fucked. Sometimes I tweak out on my legs and they are all messed up. My sister and I still tweak. Last night when I asked for some she threw the bag at me and was like I quit. So I have some right now. I don't know what to do. I need help, but from someone that isn't going to make me want to do it more.
  
  Desiree

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  Posted on February 1st, 2011

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