Meth Addict's Personal Stories

Mar
05

Where Do I Fit In?

I was born with disabilities, I am a dwarf. You know like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs LOL!!! Well, my childhood was awesome. I felt like my childhood was a perfect dream. Until I found some things out about my family. When I was 14 years old I found out that my mother was doing phone sex. Back then I didn't approve of my mother talking to dirty old men about sex and whatever else she talked about. So that's when my rebellion started.

When I was 15, I started hanging with my cousin who was in the bad crowd. That's when I started drinking and smoking pot. Then when I was 16, I started doing meth and other drugs, but meth was the one that got me. My mother and father had no idea what I was doing, but then sometimes I think she did because I changed. I remember one time when I was tweaking real hard and I had been up for three days and the next day was Thanksgiving. I had to go to my grandmas for dinner and so me and my cousin did a little wake me up and we went to my grandmas tweaking. I feel really ashamed for that and I still haven't told her that because of how ashamed I feel.

So when I was 18 years old, I moved down to Cedar city, Utah and surprisingly I didn't do any meth but I did get drunk and stoned a lot. About three months later I moved back to Salt Lake City, UT and moved in with my sister. That's when the tweaking started again. It was on my sister's birthday and her brother asked her if I wanted to hit the pipe. At first I wasn't sure what she was talking about. I thought that it was a pot pipe but as it turned out it was a tweak pipe. Back then I would have taken a hit any time. So that's when the trouble started again, and I had been smoking ever since then up until about 3 month ago.

After all of that I got sick of the drama that came along with meth and I decided to ask my parent for help. So my mother made some phone calls and I am now in drug recovery and damb proud of it.

I think my problems stem from when I got into Jr. High, because I was never accepted in school, because I was different than the other kids. I never dated once in high school except for my boyfriend now who I have known since 2nd grade. I was really tough to be different, and it got real tough when I ended up in a wheel chair. Now days I really don't care what people think of me if they don't like me because I am different then I guess they have a problem. I hope my story makes sense.

Well that's my story and I sticking to it!
3 Comments
Posted on March 5th, 2011
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3 Responses to Where Do I Fit In?

REPLY

Sarah C.

October 28th, 2011

It's really hard to spend your entire life feeling as if you do not belong. Feeling like a misfit, unwanted and unappreciated and like you do not fit in at all can make life really hard. My future always seemed really dismal as well because I am completely deaf. Unable to communicate effectively with most of the population made it harder for me to feel well adjusted in my life. When the opportunity came up to 'fit in' by doing drugs with some people in my high school, I jumped at the chance to feel like one of the in crowd.

In hindsight, I should have realized that I was better than those people because I was drug free. Instead, I went down a tailspin of depression, addiction and serious mental issues. It did not occur to me that all of these problems could have been caused by my addiction to drugs, but there it was. Eventually I had to confess to myself that I needed to get drug rehab help in order to overcome what ailed me. It took some time and some real effort but I did eventually overcome my addictions and I was eventually able to get all of the help that I needed.

It does not matter what drove you to addiction in the first place. What matters is finding a way out of it, which means getting professional assistance from an addiction rehabilitation program in your local area so that you can get the assistance that you need to get it done.
REPLY

Darlene M.

October 28th, 2011

I am a meth addict and have been since I started college. When I started college I had a hard time because I was so different from the other kids. They all seemed to be big city and I was from a small farm town in the middle of nowhere. I had different values and a different way of life back home. They all moved so fast it was hard to find a way to fit in. One day I went to one of the parties just off campus and someone offered me a chance to do meth. I decided maybe that was my way into the group and to feeling like I was a part of the school. I did it once and never turned back. When I used I felt like I fit in just fine and everyone around me seemed to treat me differently.

It wasn't until I started to fail my classes and couldn't focus on anything other than doing meth that I realized I had a problem. I didn't want to lose everything I had but I couldn't figure out how to stop. I had no control and even though I would go a day or so without using I couldn't stop for longer and needed help. I finally broke down and talked to one of my professors that I trusted about getting help. He was great and worked with me to find a rehab center near by so that I could do an outpatient program. The hardest part was telling my dad. I felt like I shattered everything he had worked so hard to do for me.
REPLY

Rhonda M.

October 28th, 2011

Meth took over my life and it all started when I needed to find a way to fit in a crowd of kids I had just met. I was constantly moving around because of my dad's job and it was hard to keep making new friends and then leaving. This last time that we moved I couldn't take the pressure any more and was looking for an easy way to fit right into the mix. At one of the parties on a weekend I found meth, or it found me. It was there and offered to me freely and I was so angry at having to move again that I just jumped at it. I thought maybe it would make it easier for me to forget how mad I was. It did and then I used again and again. Before I knew it I couldn't stop. I was using all the time and my grades where pretty much dead. I was arguing with my dad constantly and had no respect for myself or anyone else.

I reached out to one of my guidance counselors at school and he helped me talk to my parents. He also helped put me in touch with a rehab center with a good inpatient program that not only helped me to get off the drugs but taught me how to avoid the stress that drove me to the drugs in the first place. I am trying do figure out who I am and not worrying so much about how I fit in.

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